The Hostile Human UFO Girl
by Invader Mel
Summary: A new girl enters Ms. Bitters’ class, and doesn’t want anything to do with any of the kids...especially Zim and Dib. But when her secret purpose is no longer secret, is it so easy to avoid them?
1. The Hostile Human UFO Girl

Chapter One: The Hostile Human UFO Girl  
  
It was just another ordinary doom-lecture filled Monday in Ms. Bitters' class, when suddenly the door opened. "Class, this is a new student. Tell the class your name now, and then sit down!" The girl cleared her throat, and scanned the classroom with her narrow eyes.  
  
"I am called UFOgirl, because I have a bit of an obsession with UFOs, also known as UAOs, or Unidentified Aerial Objects. If any of you have any kind of problem with that, then you are certain to suffer my interminable wrath. I care not what morons such as your pitiful selves think of me, but I do, however, find it intolerably infuriating when I am diverted from my imperative work for such meaningless activities. Now, instructor Bitters, will you please assign me to a seat so as to allow me to waste my incredible talent and genius on sitting in a pathetic excuse for an educational establishment?"  
  
"Over there." She pointed next to Zim. A button was pressed, and the student who sat there previously had disappeared into the underground classroom.  
  
"You have my thanks and utter confusion." The girl sat down, and shot Zim a glare. She had short, black hair that covered her ears, and wore a pair of glasses over her green eyes. Her attire was composed of the following: A black shirt that reached nearly to her knees, which was covered for the most part by a midnight blue jacket, black pants, and boots. "What is it that you think you are looking at, alleged human boy?"  
  
"Uh...nothing! Yes, nothing!"  
  
"Would you kindly cease your deplorable attempt to induce me into thinking that you are of human origin? I believe I feel my IQ dropping at mere sight of you. Surely you must be a shame to whatever planet it is that you come from. As would be expected from humanity, I suppose that no one notices the difference. No matter. Anyone as slow on the uptake as you would have no conceivable chance of inflicting any harm upon the people of Earth, much as they deserve it. By the way, I meant to ask - just what is it that you are called?"  
  
"My name is ZIM! Pathetic human fool!"  
  
"Ah, a little insulting rant about my own faults to keep your ego up, is that it? Well, I must say, I'm actually quite entertained by this show of ignorance. Bravo. Now, let's hear some more." Zim merely fumed, for he was being made a fool, and by a human! This intrigued Dib. After all, just how often was it that someone actually intelligent came into class and started to comment on how pitiful his enemy's disguise was? Whispers rotated from end to end of the classroom, and amongst them were comments such as,  
  
"She's crazy too," and "Her head's even bigger than Dib's." When recess came about, and the children all went outside, the girl remained. Dib was somewhat perplexed, so he went to see her.  
  
"So...you like UFOs?"  
  
"Yeah. Any problems with that, four-eyes?"  
  
"I was just trying to be nice, and you wear glasses too."  
  
"I know. I suppose it is force of habit. I apologize."  
  
"Apology accepted. Why don't you go to recess?"  
  
"Why should I? I am perfectly aware of the fact that I'm not exactly the popular type amongst your classmates, Dib."  
  
"Yeah, it's just that - wait, what did you call me?"  
  
"By your name."  
  
"How did you know my name?"  
  
"After some research, I found out. Agent UFOgirl, from the Swollen Eyeballs. Nice to meet you in person. Wow. It's strange to say those words. I haven't really talked kindly to anyone for some time now."  
  
"Oh. Why don't you ever try to be nice to them?"  
  
"The same reason as you. Just want to get my work done. After all, which do you think they'd prefer? My talking to them, or my saving their hides?"  
  
"You're defending Earth from an alien too?"  
  
"Sort of. But I have more of a challenge. My enemy is much more intelligent than that Zim."  
  
"You know his name too?"  
  
"I've seen your statements about him, which proves him all the more pathetic. Besides, he shouted his name out to me, remember? Now, could you please leave me be?"  
  
"Come on, you've got to help me! He's going to conquer Earth!"  
  
"No he's not, so long as you stick to it and don't waste your time bothering me about it."  
  
"Are you an alien?"  
  
"Huh? No, of course not."  
  
"I think you are."  
  
"I AM not! I'm just a kid genius who's into the paranormal! Geez, what do you want from me?"  
  
"Then why won't you help me? This is our chance to prove that aliens DO exist!"  
  
"I'm sorry, truly I am, but my research goes far beyond anything that you could possibly fathom. Things that, if truth be told, could tear this universe apart, causing a total collapse of the balance of the entire inter- dimensional system and the end of all existence as we know it! I must stop it. You have your battles and trials to face, and I have mine! Can't you just leave it at that?"  
  
"No. You must help me!"  
  
"I said the answer is NO! I must do this, and on my own. It is my fate."  
  
"Don't you think that maybe your fate brought you here for a reason? Maybe you need to be stalled. Something bad will happen to you if you don't come help me."  
  
"And so what if it does?! It's not as though there's any reason for you to care! I'm like a tumbleweed - I pass through, and people notice me while I'm here, but when I'm gone, I'm soon forgotten. Dib, heed my word, don't get too attached to things. It will just leave you in ruins when they're long dead." She got up, and opened the classroom door, and just as her right foot had first stepped outside into the hall, Dib stopped her.  
  
"What's your name?"  
  
"I can't tell you that. It will just make me seem more like a person than the ethereal shadow of a child that I am. Now, let me alone!"  
  
"No."  
  
"WHAT did you say?"  
  
"I said no."  
  
"I'm afraid I have but one option left." The girl stepped back inside the vacant classroom, closed the door behind her, and looked forebodingly at him with her piercing green eyes. From behind her she pulled a backpack and selected a laptop from amongst her books. She set it down on the nearest desk, opened it up, and began typing furiously at the keys. "I did not wish to do this, but I'm afraid it must be done." She hit one final key, and the two vanished from sight. They found themselves in what looked like a dark room whose sides were mirrors that stretched vastly on all sides.  
  
"Where are we?! What did you do?!"  
  
"I'm not really sure how to explain this. It's a parallel universe, though."  
  
"What can't you explain?"  
  
"What I can't explain...is how we got into this one. According to my calculations, it seems we have landed into a forbidden zone."  
  
"A forbidden zone?"  
  
"Yes. I don't have unlimited access to all the different dimensions and realities, but it looks like we're in the fifth dimension."  
  
"The fifth dimension?"  
  
"Yes, and would you kindly discontinue repeating everything I say? Thank you. Yes, this is the fifth dimension. I only have access to the fourth, which allows me the transits to common parallel universes."  
  
"A common parallel universe?"  
  
"A universe parallel to the one of our origin that's also in the same dimension, such as a universe parallel to a two-dimensional reality that is also two-dimensional. Apparently this is a transit to parallel universes of the fifth dimension. That is quite unfortunate."  
  
"How?"  
  
"I don't know how to transit back into the fourth or third dimensions."  
  
"What are we going to do?"  
  
"I'm not sure. Look at the floor you stand on."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Just look at it." He did, and saw the back of his head in front of him.  
  
"Why do I see the back of my head?"  
  
"There must be some kind of system that relays images of the ceiling to the floor, and vise-versa, so that things appear opposite. If we can only create a paradox to disrupt the system...I know! All we have to do is to put a mirror in front of the mirror image floor, then the new mirror will mirror whatever the floor mirrors, which is the ceiling view. That should open a window through the so-called mirror, and allow us to get to the fourth dimension! From there we can travel anywhere! All we need is a reflective surface..."  
  
"I don't have any mirrors."  
  
"Neither do I. But - we both have glasses. I'll help you first, to ensure that you make it all right. We will, however, require a light source to set off the chain reaction."  
  
"Here. I have a flashlight with me."  
  
"Okay. Thanks."  
  
"What were you going to do to me?"  
  
"What? Oh, that. I was going to send you to an alternate reality where you would be documented for observation. Just to make sure you don't get in my way. I won't be able to do so now, thanks to somebody's hacking into my system."  
  
"I didn't hack into your computer!"  
  
"No, not you. Something else. An entity far beyond anything you've ever come into contact with. I've spent all my recesses for the past two years trying to hack into the secret experimental government research files on parallel universes and inter-dimensional travel, only to find that it was labeled as a subcategory of paranormal phenomena. Now that I've finally found what little people know, one simple little code, I've been able to conduct a more advanced study, allowing me to uncover countless combinations and formulae, giving me admittance into all kinds of gateways of time and space. And finally it's beginning to pay off. But I can't have you distracting me." She reflected the light from the flashlight on the lenses of the glasses and to the mirrored floor. Before them, the walls changed from their mirror effect to an array of bluish purple light rays.  
  
"Where are we?"  
  
"The fourth dimension. All I have to do is type a certain code and...there!" They found themselves back in the classroom, just as they had been. "Now Dib, you must leave me alone, or I will be forced to do something horrible to you. Yours and everyone else's lives depend on the success of this mission. If you care anything at all for your kind, you will continue fighting Zim as if I was never here. Got that? Or we'll all die." The bell rang, and class resumed. 


	2. Great-great-great Granddaughter

Chapter Two: Great-great-great Granddaughter  
  
It was now Tuesday, and Zim observed the UFO human more closely now. He hadn't recognized her before, but thanks to a scan on her, he was able to process data about her in the computer, and had come up with results. She was human, but something was different about her...almost as if her intelligence made her separate just enough from her species. Dib went to talk to her, and Zim went back to his thoughts.  
  
"Dib, leave me alone. I told you I couldn't be bothered."  
  
"I really think you should help me! Wait, you have something in your hair..." As he reached to take it out, he felt a painful slap on the wrist as she pushed him all the way to Ms. Bitters' desk.  
  
"NO ONE touches me, for ANY reason! Besides, I have nothing in my hair!"  
  
"Really, you do. What IS that?"  
  
"I wouldn't know, now leave me alone!" Dib persisted, and when he brushed the hair covering her ear aside, he screamed out,  
  
"Oh, WOW! YOUR EARS!" Indeed, she had ears, but they were slender, long, and ended in a point at the top. Rather like Spok's, I might add. Dib was truly petrified, and had backed away to his own desk.  
  
"You didn't see anything, now!"  
  
"Yes I did!"  
  
"I AM human though, you MUST believe me!"  
  
"Why should I?!"  
  
"Dib-worm, she's right."  
  
"What would you know about this, pathetic alien?!" the girl shouted at the top of her voice.  
  
"I ran a scan on you to verify your humanity."  
  
"Listen, Zim, stay out of my affairs! I mean this! You leave me ALONE, or I'll do something truly HORRIBLE to you! I don't want you to associate with me, or prod me with questions, or anything of the like!"  
  
"I'm not afraid of a HUMAN."  
  
"If you find me to be so pathetic, then how could I possibly pose a threat? You call Dib and the rest of the humans pathetic, and yet somehow they remain a threat! Wouldn't you say that is a clear indicator that you are pathetic as well? You two are getting yourselves involved in something that should never be touched upon by unknowing beings! I want to be ALONE! Do you understand?" They nodded, and she sat down once more. During Ms. Bitters lecture, she took out her laptop and began typing something.  
  
"You!" the teacher shouted, "Stop disrupting class!" The girl acted as though she had not heard, and proceeded to type. Ms. Bitters slithered to her desk and growled. "Detention!"  
  
"This is far more important than detention! This is far more important than lectures about DOOM, because if you don't leave me alone, you'll all be MEETING your doom!"  
  
"Go to the office! Now!"  
  
"I need my CONCENTRATION! I cannot be bothered!" Ms. Bitters took the laptop from her, and a red alert flashed on the screen as the typing jumbled. "You'll PAY for that! All of you!" Her voice hissed, and she jumped up on top of her desk. "Allow me to make a demonstration of my powers. You will all believe me, and you will all understand what I tell you...is that clear?" Under a trance, they all nodded, except for Zim and Dib, who were quite frightened. "If any of you are thinking about running out into that hallway, forget it." The door slammed shut on its own, and the girl turned back toward the classroom.  
  
"I haven't told any of you my real name yet. I intend not to. But you can call me Sal. It is derived from a password of mine, namely "thehostilehumanUFOgirl." I come from the future of humanity. People like me have originated from the open-minded, who have more room for growth and evolution. One such example of my ancestors is right here in this classroom. The only human who has not fallen under this trance. Would you please stand, Dib Membrane?" Dib stood, and Sal curtsied.  
  
"I am quite honored to be in your presence, Dib. You are the first. It is your job to save the Earth, and though no one here in this time will recognize you for it, people of the future will honor you. There is a second Independence Day in my time, where the entire world celebrates our freedom from the Irken Empire, thanks to you. My time is really the time that you would feel at home in. But that era will never be unless you stay here and live your life. The human race is counting on you to stay here and perform your task.  
  
"Zim, you are the shortest of your kind, putting you in the lowest rank. Your fate is not to die here on Earth. You will be forced to leave, and you will be assigned another planet. You will conquer that one, and save your Empire from collapsing. You will prove that height is not everything, and put your society back into order. Once this is complete, your kind will be saved, for you will not be deemed as a tactless, inapt people and destroyed by the Department of Inter-galactic Relations. You two deserve the best, but unfortunately, you will not gain anything until your lives are over. I'm so very sorry. But that's what true heroes are. And you two are true heroes. Both save your kind from destruction. I would like to take the time to thank you, Dib, for making my life more pleasant and for my being the way I am.  
  
"You are in grave danger. There is an assassin from the future out to get me. But, since I am too far protected in my time, they decided to instead kill you, my ancestor. That is why I cannot have you around me, Dib. We cannot communicate in any way, or they'll know. Because not only will both you and I and all my family die, but the future of humanity will be forever ruined."  
  
"Wait, Sal, I'm your...ancestor?"  
  
"Yes. And I'm your descendant, along with all my family."  
  
"And you're royalty?"  
  
"Something like it. After all, I descended from you. You're my great- great-great grandfather."  
  
"I'm your...there must be some mistake..."  
  
"I can assure you, there is none. I have your blood, your DNA - everything. You died quite a long while before I was born, though. I never got to meet you. My mother was named after my great-great-great grandaunt Gaz, and my grandfather was named after you."  
  
"What year do you come from?"  
  
"The year 2207. What year is this again?"  
  
"This is 2054. You're from 153 years in the future. But why are your ears like that? And how could everything be so different then?"  
  
"Well, things are much different now than in the late 1800s and early 1900s, aren't they? You are about to find that out, along with the rest of this mindless class. History is about to be made."  
  
  
  
Note: I'm not trying to predict exactly when Invader Zim is supposed to take place, but I just made up a date that seemed moderately reasonable for the plot to work. 


	3. The Trial

Chapter Three: The Trial  
  
A colossal rumbling sound shook the classroom, and some creatures appeared before them. They were tall, slender aliens that greatly resembled the grays. "Your people, the humans, have proven yourselves to be a menace to the galaxy!" the voice of the first one thundered, "It is our assignment to take an unknowing group of people to see if they are worthy enough to exist."  
  
"You can't destroy Earth!" Dib shouted out.  
  
"Why not?"  
  
"Because! There's good in people! It may not be noticeable, but Sal has proven it!"  
  
"If this girl can prove that humans are fit to exist, we will allow you to live. If not, you will be terminated." The class gasped. "Well...?"  
  
"Humans can love. We can love."  
  
"You have the capability, but do you ever use it?"  
  
"Yes. I do love."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"I love Zim." Zim blushed from the other side of the room.  
  
"What else is there good?"  
  
"Well...there's...there's..."  
  
"A response this long shows there can't be much else worth anything, and since it is obvious that your people use their worst qualities more than their better ones, it is our decision to destroy humanity. We will begin with the one you call Dib."  
  
"NO!" she shrieked out. "You can't kill him!"  
  
"He would not be your ancestor, but you would still be born if he dies."  
  
"I don't care! You aren't going to kill him! You'd have to kill me first!"  
  
"Then so be it."  
  
"Wait! I am not the one you should look for the goodness of humanity in! You should look to him! Dib is the one who is to save this Earth! He is destined to! Not I! There must be something in him to change your minds, or I would not exist!"  
  
"We will try. What good is there in humanity, Dib?"  
  
"Persistence! We won't give up without a fight!"  
  
"What else?"  
  
"Look into his mind! There must be some quality that is in there! Scan his mind!"  
  
"How would we do that?"  
  
"Let me tap into his thoughts and memories; then I'll relay them to you telepathically." She put her hands on the sides of his head, and instructed him to close his eyes and blank his mind. During the time, the two aliens were receiving images and thoughts and mused over them.  
  
"He tries to save his kind, despite the fact they don't respect him...these thoughts confuse me. Why would anyone want to save a species not worth saving?"  
  
"Perhaps he wanted to save them because they're his own kind."  
  
"Maybe. Wait, this is an interesting thought. I've got a hold of something now...he seems to want...to prove something. Prove himself worthy. Interesting. We have decided to allow humans to survive, but we're going to have to erase the class's memory of seeing us."  
  
"Okay." They disappeared, and the kids were in their usual trance Sal had brought them into. "Dib, thank you. You saved our lives."  
  
"I...did? What did I do?"  
  
"You trying to defeat Zim. That's what did it. I'm sure of it. But as I was saying before, someone's going to try to kill you, and they won't stop. We need to get you to safety somehow. You can't die."  
  
"Where are you staying?"  
  
"At an abandoned apartment building. Why?"  
  
"I want you to come home with me tonight. You are my family."  
  
"All right. I accept."  
  
"So, how did your ears get like that?"  
  
"It is guessed that it is mutation. You're probably going to be exposed to radioactivity at some point in your life, affecting your children, and your children's children, and so on. That's how we're very easily identifiable. We're the only family with the pointed ears, so your children or anyone who's descended from them has pointed ears."  
  
"Do you think you should bring them out of it?"  
  
"Oh, I suppose." Sal snapped her fingers, and everyone's eyes blinked closed and open again.  
  
"Everyone go home!" Ms. Bitters snapped, and even though it wasn't even lunchtime yet, they did as she said. Zim helped Sal with her books as she carefully packed away her laptop.  
  
"Sal, now I truly don't want the Dib-human to die, because you'll never exist."  
  
"Thank you, Zim. That's kind of you. I would've thought you'd immediately loathe any descendant of Dib's. I can honestly say that I'm pleasantly surprised. But I warn you, if you harm him in any way, I'll hate you for the rest of my life."  
  
"Oh, okay." She got up, and walked out the door with Dib. Zim ran to catch up. "Um, Sal? Can I...walk you home?"  
  
"Are you sure you don't have a trick up your sleeve?"  
  
"No! Of course not! I just want to walk you home!"  
  
"What?! Zim, you're NOT walking my great-great-great granddaughter home!"  
  
"Do you mind, Dib-monkey? Sal and I want to be alone."  
  
"Sal, I won't let you walk home with Zim! He'll do something horrible to you!"  
  
"Relax, Dib, I'm okay. I won't let him hurt me. I trust he won't."  
  
"All right. But be careful! I'll meet you at my house. If you're not there by a certain time, I'm going to call the police. Understand?"  
  
"Yes. I comprehend in a flawless manner." Dib ran on ahead, and waited anxiously for her to get home. He heard her laughter and came out around the back way. From around the corner of the house, he watched them. "Goodbye, Zim."  
  
"Goodbye, Sal." Zim hugged her, and Dib clenched his fist. He dipped her down for a kiss, but Dib leapt out from the side of the house and pushed him away.  
  
"I'm not going to let you kiss her!"  
  
"Dib, I think you're getting a little parental here."  
  
"Technically I AM your great-great-great grandfather, aren't I? And there is no way on Earth I'm going to let you and ZIM kiss!"  
  
"He said he'll stop invading Earth if we date."  
  
"I don't care! I'd never let him succeed, anyhow!"  
  
"Why can't I?"  
  
"Because he's an alien bent on world domination, that's why!"  
  
"Actually, galactic conquest."  
  
"Whatever! Look, the point is that he's an alien, and he's dangerous!"  
  
"I think he's kind of sweet."  
  
"Sweet?! Has he brainwashed you?!"  
  
"I don't think so...but then again, I'm brainwashed every day that I see commercials on the television set, so I might not know the difference."  
  
"Please, trust me. He's no good for you. You deserve someone better."  
  
"Just where do you expect me to find someone better than him? Within humans?"  
  
"Maybe in your time."  
  
"Okay. I'll look."  
  
"That's better. Come inside now, it's getting cold."  
  
"All right. Whatever you say..."  
  
"Sal? Sal, are you looking out that window where Zim is? Sal, look away from there!" Dib dragged her into the kitchen, where they found Gaz.  
  
"Dib, is this my great-great-great grandaunt Gaz?"  
  
"Yes, this is my sister, Gaz. Gaz, this is my future great-great-great granddaughter, Sal." Gaz gave him a look that plainly said, 'you're crazy' and walked into the living room with her Gameslave. "I'm not sure that she believes me."  
  
"Don't worry about that. But, you do worry about me and Zim getting together, so if you're going to be parental in telling me I cannot go out with him, you're going to have to make my meals and be responsible for me."  
  
"Hey, do I really have to be a parent before I even reach my thirteenth birthday? I'm your age, you know."  
  
"Yes, and you'll live to be ninety-six, too. So, why not break out the sweets and sugar-coated chocolate while you still can!"  
  
"Sugar-coated chocolate is sickening."  
  
"It is, but it's something sweet to suck on and keep you occupied. We do need to get down to business, though."  
  
"Business? What business?"  
  
"I'm not here for vacation, you know. Remember? The assassin that's after you to make sure I die?"  
  
"Oh, yeah. What are we going to do?"  
  
"Well, despite my original plan, we're going to have to stick right by each other for every moment." She pulled what looked like a pair of handcuffs from her backpack, and locked Dib's right hand in one, and her left hand in the other.  
  
"Um...Sal?"  
  
"Yes Dib?"  
  
"I need to use the restroom."  
  
"Hmm...I didn't think about that...can you wait for another hundred and fifty-three years?"  
  
"No! I don't think I can wait another hundred and fifty-three seconds!"  
  
"Um...hmm...let's think now...oh! I've got it! I didn't throw the key away, thank goodness!" Sal quickly unlocked him and let him go to the bathroom. When he returned, she locked him in again. "You better have washed your hands."  
  
"Of course I did!"  
  
"I'm hungry. Anything in the department of snacks?"  
  
"Your attitude sure has changed since you first came here, now hasn't it? First you want to ignore me, and now we're handcuffed together."  
  
"Well, I just want to make it last. I'm not going to be here forever, you know."  
  
"I will see you later on in my life, won't I?"  
  
"No, I'm afraid not. You're going to live to be ninety-six years old. That's old, but not nearly old enough to see me born. To see me as I am now, you'd have to live to be one hundred and sixty-five years old. That's much older than any human being has lived before. I'm so sorry. But at least we get to know each other at all. Just imagine - if I never came here, you wouldn't ever know of my existence until the day you die. That's about eighty-four years from now. Nearly a decade over three-quarters of a century."  
  
"I'm glad I get to know you."  
  
"Me too. Let's look at one of your magazines, shall we?" They looked through a few, and talked until it was about nine-thirty.  
  
"It's time for bed. I'd better get changed."  
  
"I suppose I'll have to unlock the handcuffs again." Dib nodded, and as he changed in his room, she went to use the restroom and came back to see him finished.  
  
"Two minutes. I bet you can't change faster."  
  
"Wanna bet?"  
  
"Yeah. Bet what?"  
  
"Hmm...how about that lovely stack of magazines over there?"  
  
"But those are my favorites!"  
  
"Think I'm going to beat you?"  
  
"Okay! The magazines! And if you lose...?"  
  
"I'll give you my laptop."  
  
"I already have a computer."  
  
"Not one from the year 2207, you don't!"  
  
"Okay. The computer. I'm timing you starting...now!" Sal reached into a pocket in her jacket and retrieved what looked like a miniature remote. She turned the dial, and she was changed into a short-sleeved black shirt with a UFO imprinted on it and the words 'they're here' written below in white ink, a pair of black pants, and midnight blue socks.  
  
"Two seconds. Beat that next time. So, are you gift-wrapping the magazines for me?"  
  
"That's cheating!"  
  
"You bet that I couldn't change faster than you did. I did. Therefore, the magazines are mine. But, I'll let you have them anyway."  
  
"Thanks."  
  
"No problem. I also want you to keep my computer."  
  
"I couldn't ask you to do that."  
  
"Just so long as you give me your old one."  
  
"I'll lose all my files though!"  
  
"Nope. All you have to do is to save it to a disk. I can then process that in my computer, and save it to a data cube. I can do the same thing with all of my files. Just a little computer swap."  
  
"You really mean it?"  
  
"Why, of course. But let's do that in the morning. I'm tired. Oh! Almost forgot!" She handcuffed him to her wrist once again. "I don't want them taking you and killing you while I sleep." They got into bed, and sat up awake for a while.  
  
"I thought you were tired."  
  
"Yes, I am. But I'm very worried. You see, I had planned to just attend your class so that when they came looking for you, they'd find me here without anyone protecting me from them, so they could kill me."  
  
"No! I won't let anyone kill you."  
  
"I know, it's different now. That's why I didn't want you to find out who I was. I didn't want you to be sad. But now that you know, I can't let you just die. I want to be with you every moment, so that when I do die, I can be sure that we've gotten to know each other and things have not gone undone. But I will die. I can't let that be a surprise to you."  
  
"I won't let them kill you."  
  
"What are you going to do about it? You can't very well give yourself up for me, because I'd die anyway! It's hopeless!"  
  
"No, there must be something we can do. There must be someone out there who will give their life up for you who's not your ancestor."  
  
"I came here without authorization, you know. I heard of the plan to assassinate you, and I decided to give myself up. It's better that I die than for the both of us along with my entire family to die."  
  
"Zim. Do you think he'll die for you?"  
  
"I'm not quite sure. But I don't know what we're going to do. It's not just you. They can kill your future wife who's my great-great-great grandmother; they can kill my mother, my father, my grandparents, my great- grandparents, or my great-great grandparents. Or they can kill your father. Anyone who is my ancestor, they can kill, and it'll destroy the family. I don't know what to do."  
  
"Wait, why didn't they target anyone else?"  
  
"I don't know."  
  
"Why do you think?"  
  
"Because you're one of the most famous people in history, maybe."  
  
"Who are these people who want you dead and are going to kill me?"  
  
"They're Irken rebels. They're tall, and don't like the fact that they're not treated better than the short people."  
  
"Didn't you say that it was because of me that everything changed?"  
  
"Well, I said it was Zim, but it's mostly you. If you hadn't saved Earth from those aliens from the Department of Inter-galactic Relations, Zim wouldn't have gotten the nerve to ask to walk me home, wouldn't have nearly kissed me, wouldn't love me, and he'd conquer Earth like normal! Then why aren't you dead...?"  
  
"No one's made an attempt on my life. Has anyone tried to hurt you?"  
  
"No. Maybe...maybe if I'm dead, he'd have no reason to leave Earth unharmed, and without you in the way, he'd end up conquering Earth, it'd be covered in a conspiracy because it's not a well-known planet, meaning that things wouldn't be reversed on Irk! It all makes sense now!"  
  
"Then why don't they just destroy Zim?"  
  
"He has to conquer Earth, remember?"  
  
"Oh yeah."  
  
"I need to call up Zim and tell him this."  
  
"Wait - what's your real name? You said it wasn't really Sal."  
  
"Raina. My real name is Raina. And I am not what I have led you to believe." Shakily, she pulled something out from her pocket. It was a gun. Dib's eyes opened wide as she pointed it to him, straight in between the eyes. "Dib Membrane, I am about to kill you." 


	4. Any Last Words?

Chapter Four: Any Last Words?  
  
"Why are you doing this? Who are you?"  
  
"Perhaps I should make this a little more clear. You're real great- great-great granddaughter Sal is back in her own time, and she is being held captive. I am merely disguised as her. She uncovered our plot to kill you, and was about to save you, but we caught her. I acted as her, I mimicked her voice, everything impeccably. I finally have the perfect opportunity to kill you. No one will know. As soon as the shot rings out, I'll go back to my own time, and everything will be better. You see, I am one of the Irkens of that rebel group I told you about. I want to have the rights to special invading academies for free! I'm tall, and I deserve it! So, as soon as I pull this trigger, you will be shot. You will die, and with 'Sal' gone and you not in the way, Zim will conquer this filthy spinning ball of dirt, and it will all be covered in a conspiracy because it's a planet no one knows about, and such a short invader will never gain privileges that are reserved for us tall Irkens."  
  
"Please, don't kill me! Sal! My great-great-great granddaughter! She needs to be born! She can stop this madness!"  
  
"I don't think so. We're handcuffed together, remember? Until I press a button to send me back to my time, which is when you're dead in a pool of blood, we are trapped here together! So, any last words?"  
  
"Yes. When you get back to your time, I want you to die. I want you to die and spend eternity rotting in the fiery underworld!"  
  
"Enough! Now, meet your doom!" She lifted the gun once more, and Dib grabbed hold of it. He shoved it forward just enough to bring it pointing upward. Raina made an attempt to shoot him, but the bullet landed in the ceiling. His window had been open, and she fell outside it, the gun plummeting to the ground below. However, they were still handcuffed together, so she nearly dragged him outside as well. Raina ended up unlocking the cuffs, and fell to the sidewalk. She could not move. The fall had rendered her unconscious.  
  
Prof. Membrane, who had been working in the house that day, came up to see what the shot was. "Dad, I know you won't believe me, but this girl said her name was Sal, but it's really Raina, and she pretended to be my future great-great-great granddaughter to get in here, but she really just wanted to kill me."  
  
"Why wouldn't I believe that?"  
  
"Well, I thought you were more of a skeptic."  
  
"A skeptic? Of what? You believing that your great-great-great granddaughter was in here?"  
  
"She wasn't! She was an alien assassin! And she fell down through the window! There!"  
  
"Son, there aren't any aliens!"  
  
"She's disguised as a human, and if you don't believe that she's really an alien, could you at least look to see who tried to kill me?" He looked, but saw nothing.  
  
"Looks like it was just a nightmare."  
  
"A nightmare?! No, you have to believe me! She's going to try to get in again!"  
  
"Try to get some sleep."  
  
"It wasn't a dream! I even have marks on my wrist from where the handcuffs were!"  
  
"Goodnight son." Dib tried to get his attention one last time, but then gave up. He tried to fall asleep, but considering the events that had just taken place, it was rather difficult to do so. 


	5. Don't Let the Boogie Bug Bite

Chapter Five: Don't Let the Boogie Bug Bite  
  
Early Wednesday morning, Zim awoke to a pounding on his door. He opened it, and found Dib. "What do you want, pathetic Earth-monkey?"  
  
"The girl we know isn't really my great-great-great granddaughter Sal! She's an Irken named Raina who's out to kill me!"  
  
"Stop whining and tell me what your point is!"  
  
"The real Sal is being held captive in the year 2207. We have to save her!"  
  
"You're right, for once! We can't let them kill her, or a paradox in time will be created! Follow me!" Zim led the earthboy to his lab, and showed him what looked like a teleporter. "This is a time teleporter. With it, we can go to any year we want."  
  
"Set it to 2207."  
  
"All right." He made the adjustments, and they got in. When they got out, the lab was no more. They were inside a futuristic looking mall, and holographic advertisements and posters were just about everywhere.  
  
"Can I help you?" a voice came from a screen with the image of a lady's head. She had black hair with blue and green streaks, wore a dark purple shirt, and had a fairly large head. What Dib noticed immediately were her pointed ears.  
  
"Um...Do you know where Sal was last?"  
  
"Sal? Sal who? There are approximately twenty people within the city whose name is Sal."  
  
"She has pointed ears. Like yours."  
  
"What is your name? Are you one of her friends from skool? I'll tell her when she gets home from her UFO hunting trip. Or I could page her now, if you'd like."  
  
"My name is Dib. Dib Membrane."  
  
"That's impossible. Dib Membrane died sixty-nine years ago, at the age of ninety-six. I should know. He's my great-great-grandfather, and I wish I had known him in my lifetime."  
  
"Then that means your Sal's mother... What's your name?"  
  
"My name is Gaz Katazure. I was named after his sister."  
  
"My sister. You see, I'm from the past. One hundred and fifty-three years ago. I'm twelve right now. And I have some news concerning your daughter."  
  
"How should I trust you? You're probably just playing some kind of prank on me. It's not funny, you little juvenile delinquent!"  
  
"I swear, I am! Run a DNA test. Check my fingerprints. You've got to believe me!"  
  
"I'll order security to check, but just because you request!" Security came and scrutinized him carefully. One person took his fingers and scanned them with an oblong tool.  
  
"It's a match! He is Dib Membrane!" Everyone in the surrounding area gasped in surprise. "Mrs. Katazure, come here!" The woman from the screen ran up to where Dib was and opened her eyes wide.  
  
"What do you know about my daughter?"  
  
"She's being held captive by some alien rebels from the planet Irk! They planned to kill me in the past where I wouldn't have guards, so as to make sure that everyone else in my future family dies!"  
  
"Who's that alien behind you?"  
  
"That's Zim. We're enemies because he was going to conquer Earth, but he..." Dib shuddered at the thought, "...he fell in love with her. So he's not going to destroy us. But we need to rescue my great-great-great granddaughter Sal!"  
  
"Where do you think they might be?"  
  
"I don't know. I just got here."  
  
"We'll use the store computer to locate her! I just hope she's okay!" Dib followed her to a computer near the center of the store, and she commanded it to find her.  
  
"Sal is in the former home of Dib Membrane," the computer stated.  
  
"Let's go. Tell my boss that I have to save my daughter." They took off for his house, and the city really looked quite different. On their way, a hologram asked them if they'd like to subscribe to Space Satellite Monitoring Daily Magazine. Cars either flew, or were jet propelled. They continued to run until they came upon his house.  
  
"This is my house?" It looked very different, for it had an external glass elevator that led to certain floors, and had been modified with the latest technology.  
  
"Yes. I officially own it, but I had to rent some of it out for extra cash. Apparently they have taken my dear Sal."  
  
"If they did anything to her, I swear, I'll-"  
  
"Not if I save her first, Dib-monkey!"  
  
"Zim?! What are you doing here?!"  
  
"To save Sal! What else would I be doing here at your miserable home?"  
  
"Why do you care?"  
  
"You should know now, Dib-worm! I love her."  
  
"You never met Sal. Neither have I. It's been Raina the whole time!"  
  
"No! Remember, I did a scan the first day. She was human then! Raina must have traded places with Sal when we weren't looking. I fell in love with Sal, not Raina! I could tell that she was Sal. Raina must have traded places with her when she was in your house."  
  
"Are we going to save her, or what?"  
  
"Let's take this conveniently placed elevator to the second floor." They boarded the elevator to the top, and Dib gasped.  
  
"Look what they've done to my room!" Replacing his posters of aliens and such were photographs of...well, aliens. Irkens on battlefields, in everyday life, etc. One thing he noticed in particular was that they were all tall. He came across photographs of Sal tacked onto a bulletin board and some Irken writing. "Zim, what's this say?!"  
  
"'With the elimination of the girl known as Sal along with the rest of her family leading back to the one known as Dib, there will be a revolution of the tall Irkens of Irk.' They want to kill Sal!"  
  
"Of course they do! And if I die, then she's going to die, so if you want her alive, you'd better not do anything to me!"  
  
"Curse you! We'd better find where she is, though." They scanned the room and finally Zim shrieked out.  
  
"What is it? Did you find her?"  
  
"Yes, I believe so. Or at least a passage leading to her. Here. It says that this is where they store all people who they intend to kill. All we have to do is to prove that I am an Irken by going though the scanners."  
  
"How do I get in?"  
  
"I don't really care."  
  
"You have to let me go with you! If I'm here alone, I might get caught, and killed! Then Sal would die!"  
  
"Come along! Filthy humans, worth less than one of their measly cents!"  
  
"Hey! Sal's a human too!"  
  
"Well, she's an exception!"  
  
"Let's just find her and get out, okay?"  
  
"All right." Zim put his hand on a scanner and let a laser examine his eyes. "Don't fall behind, or you'll get zapped!" They walked along a narrow passageway, a dark and dank place, almost like a cave. Half walking, half stumbling, the two enemies came about an enormous room with computers and other such technical apparatus cluttering the floors and walls, except for the center, where a single table rested - and on it was strapped Sal. "Sal, wai-" Instantly Dib slapped his hand over Zim's mouth.  
  
"Do you want to get us and Sal killed?! We're in luck, no one's in there besides Sal."  
  
"It could be a trap. I'd better go in. I could care less about you, but I don't want Sal to die."  
  
"Make sure you get her out alive."  
  
"I will." Zim made his way down to where Sal was strapped in, and began to undo the restraints. "Sal, speak to me. Are you all right?"  
  
"Bright...lights...shining...in my eyes...Zim, is that you?"  
  
"Yes, it is I. Sal, I love you."  
  
"I love you too, Zim." Zim picked her up, and looked affectionately into her eyes. He brought her close to him, and kissed her. She feebly said, "My blood belongs to Dib, but my heart belongs to you."  
  
"We must hurry now." He carried her to where Dib was standing, and began to walk her through the hall, when Dib raised his hand with a laser gun.  
  
"Don't move, or Sal gets it."  
  
"Dib, stop this foolishness, right now!"  
  
"Oh, I'm not Dib. I'm an Irken, just like you, disguised as him, and I want to terminate that human."  
  
"No! Don't hurt Sal! And don't kill Dib! If he dies, Sal dies!"  
  
"I am already aware of that fact, and I intend to kill that human now, and then kill Dib after."  
  
"Leave them alone!"  
  
"Give up that pitiful creature now, and help your own kind, rather than catering to that human's needs and wants."  
  
"Give me up, Zim. I can't let them kill Dib. It'd destroy the rest of my family as well. Even if I could, with everyone else gone, I'd never want to live! Never!"  
  
"Please, no!"  
  
"It's the only way, Zim. Don't let them kill Dib. It's better that just I die rather than my entire family dying."  
  
"Okay..." Zim set her down on the ground gently, and then jumped on the Irken disguised as Dib and began to pummel him furiously. "Surrender the Dib and I'll spare you!"  
  
"All right, all right. Here he is," he pressed a button on a wristwatch, and disappeared. In his place was the real Dib, looking quite frightened.  
  
"That felt good beating you up. Too bad it was just an imposter." He picked Sal up once more, and began to carry her out of the room and to the elevator.  
  
"Zim, I want you to stay away from Sal. I don't want you to ever get near her, again."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Stop playing dumb, Zim. We both know why. I hate you, and I can't allow you to endanger the ones I love. Stay away from my family for the rest of your life. Stay away from my planet. Give me Sal."  
  
"No."  
  
"WHAT did you say?"  
  
"I can't let you take care of her. She needs to be somewhere safe."  
  
"She's MY great-great-great granddaughter! She's not safe in her own time right now, so I should take care of her! I don't trust you!" They reached the ground, and Sal's mother interjected,  
  
"I trust that you would take care of my daughter, Dib, but you are one of our ancestors, and she needs someone to protect her who is able to give their life up for her if the need arose. I don't think it would be best."  
  
"But, but, but..."  
  
"I will give you each a time stick. It will allow you to go back home. Just set the date that is your destination." She handed them both some florescent blue rods, and they set it to 2054. Shortly they appeared back in their own time, outside of Dib's house in the year 2054.  
  
"Wait! Before you take Sal with you, I want to say goodbye to her."  
  
"Okay." Dib walked up to her, and they embraced. Tears were at their eyes.  
  
"I love you, Sal. You're almost like my future daughter, even though you're farther along on the family tree."  
  
"You seem to me to be the father I never had."  
  
"Never had?"  
  
"Yes. My father died when I was very young."  
  
"I'm sorry. When were you taken back to your time and held captive?"  
  
"When you were changing. I had to go to the bathroom, but I was beamed back into my time in trade for Raina."  
  
"As soon as you get the opportunity, why don't you surprise Zim with a water balloon fight? He really loves it when you splash him with water by surprise."  
  
"Okay. I'll be sure to remember that."  
  
"Will the only time I ever see you again be in the classroom?"  
  
"I don't think so. I'll make sure that I get to invite you over and visit you."  
  
"I'll visit you and invite you to come over too." They hugged again, and looked at each other.  
  
"I've always dreamed of meeting you. Everyone, throughout my whole life, has told me how lucky I am to be descended from you. I've studied about you in skool, and I've always wanted to meet you. It's a wonderful world in the future compared with right now. I really wish I could stay with you, but my mother has a point. Zim is able to give his life up for me."  
  
"And I would if I could."  
  
"All right, now! It's not like you're never going to see each other again! And there is such a thing as a telephone, and you'll see each other tomorrow!"  
  
"I bet you'd have more words of protest if she was staying with me!"  
  
"We have to leave now, though, or they might catch up with us!"  
  
"All right. Goodbye, Sal."  
  
"Goodbye, Dib." They left, and Dib went inside. He sighed, and saw that Mysterious Mysteries was beginning. Without another moment's thought, he turned the television screen off and sat down on the couch. Sometimes all the things that happened to him - Bigfoot in the garage, Zim landing on Earth, his future great-great-great granddaughter coming - seemed as if it was all a part of a dream and that he'd wake up at any moment. It was as if he was in a haze, and he couldn't quite grasp the events taking place before him, and could only catch it in glimpses. As though nothing were real, and that everything really was in his mind. Of course, he knew much better, but still, it was often more tempting to just believe that he was hallucinating and Zim wasn't really an alien and Bigfoot was never really in his garage - not much more tempting, but just a little.  
  
One thing he knew he would never want to be just imagining, though - Sal. Never could he believe that she wasn't real. Whenever she'd talk to him, smile at him, look at him, he felt something jolt inside of him - a rush of confidence, a knowledge that he'd actually do something right in his life. After all, why bother saving the Earth if you couldn't do something to help prevent its ultimate downfall, anyway?  
  
Shortly afterward, he heard the phone ring. "Hello?"  
  
"Dib, it's me, Sal."  
  
"Oh, hi Sal."  
  
"Zim just asked me to go out with him." Dib slapped his forehead.  
  
"W-what did you say?"  
  
"I said yes. Please, listen! He's really quite likeable, and I love being around him...and I..."  
  
"Yes...?"  
  
"Aren't you going to tell me how I can't date him?"  
  
"I want to hear what it is you like about him."  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"What makes him likeable to you?"  
  
"Well, he tells some funny jokes, and is really nice - he complimented me a few times and was understanding when I told him I couldn't let him hurt you in any way - and I...I love him..." Sal was crying, causing Dib to panic.  
  
"Please, don't cry...I just wanted you to be happy, that's all. I'm worried that he's tricking you for some reason and he's going to hurt you...I didn't mean to...please, don't cry!"  
  
"He said that if you let us date, he'd set you up with someone named Tak."  
  
"What?! Tak?! How could he think I like her, she tried to destroy Earth!"  
  
"I don't know anything about her, but he said that you like her, and-"  
  
"Put Zim on the line!"  
  
"Okay. Zim, could you come here? Dib wants to talk to you."  
  
"What do you want, worm-monkey?!"  
  
"Zim, how could you tell my great-great-great granddaughter such lies?!"  
  
"What are you talking about?!"  
  
"Telling her that I like Tak! That's stupid! Besides, how could you get Tak to go on a date with me?! She hates your guts!"  
  
"Yes, but she doesn't hate yours. She actually said she liked you."  
  
"Tak said that? About me? You're kidding, right?"  
  
"No, I'm not. She said she thinks you're cute."  
  
"She...did? She actually said that?!"  
  
"Yes, very much so."  
  
"Could you put me in communications with her?"  
  
"Oh, yes, I'd love to." He waited a bit, and then heard someone's voice.  
  
"Hello? Who is this?"  
  
"Tak? It's me, Dib, from Earth. I'd really like to get together with you sometime, maybe your place?"  
  
"I told you to get over me, long ago, now quit bothering me!" he heard a click on the telephone, and Zim's voice came back on.  
  
"I knew it. You like an Irken. Admit it! We're superior!" Dib, whose cheeks were now bright red, realized that he'd been had.  
  
"Did...Sal hear that?"  
  
"Yes, and she's looking a little angry...what's wrong, sweetie?"  
  
"Don't call me SWEETIE!"  
  
"No, I'm talking to Sal!"  
  
"Don't call HER sweetie either!"  
  
"Sal, don't feel that way..."  
  
"What's wrong, Zim?!"  
  
"I'd better put her on the line."  
  
"Dib, I can't believe he did that to you! I told him not to hurt you, and that means emotionally, too! Tricking you into thinking that Tak liked you just to get you to confess in front of us! That's not right! I have no problem with you liking an invading alien - after all, I like Zim, don't I? Or at least I USED to like him! He's not being so nice now! He's acting more like a human would right now. Stooping to such low devices to get you to say something that doesn't even matter! Your emotions are yours to keep secret from everyone else, if you wish to! I can't believe he'd do something so CHILDISH!"  
  
"Don't get so upset, it's not really a big deal."  
  
"It is to me. I can't go out with someone like that. But no one could like me like he does. I just wish...I just wish someone out there would care...someone like Zim, but better than him."  
  
"Don't give up hope. You're a wonderful girl...I'm sure that someone will see that..."  
  
"You're right. And don't give up hope because Tak doesn't like you. I'm sure you'll find someone you like much better than her."  
  
"Thanks. Well, good luck. I love you. Goodnight."  
  
"Goodnight. What is it that they used to say? Don't let the boogie bug bite!" Dib chuckled a little, and replied back,  
  
"Yeah, that's it. The boogie bug. Don't let the boogie bug bite. Goodnight Sal."  
  
"Goodnight Dib." The phone clicked, and he set it back down on the receiver. He got up and headed toward his room.  
  
"Well, I...guess I'll turn in early." 


	6. In the Event of an Accident

Chapter Six: In the Event of an Accident  
  
Dib awoke around seven o'clock to get ready for skool that Thursday morning. He was high in spirit, for he knew he was going to see Sal that day. The skool day he could spend looking at her and passing notes to her to pass the time, rather than just glaring at Zim. During the middle of his breakfast, consisting entirely of a piece of toast and a glass of orange juice, the ring of the telephone interrupted him.  
  
"Hello?"  
  
"Dib! There's been a terrible accident!" It was Zim.  
  
"What kind of accident?! Is Sal okay?!"  
  
"I'm not sure."  
  
"Is she okay or isn't she?!"  
  
"All right, she's not okay!"  
  
"What happened?! What did you do to her?!"  
  
"I didn't do anything! She slipped on a puddle of water that GIR made and now she's unconscious!"  
  
"You're going to PAY for this one!"  
  
"Just get over here!" Dib hung the phone up, and ran outside. Prof. Membrane walked in at that moment.  
  
"Hmm...must be anxious to get to skool." He arrived at Zim's base only moments after, and ran straight into the kitchen.  
  
"What happened, Zim?! Where's Sal?!" Zim looked up from the floor, and with tears at his eyes, he whispered,  
  
"She died."  
  
"Sal...?" his voice reached an unusually high register, and with tears quickly gathering, he screamed out, "Sal, no!" For a while, he stood there.  
  
"Get out of my base, Dib. Now! And consider your Earth conquered!"  
  
"I'm not leaving. I want to see her! Just let me glimpse her!"  
  
"All right. She's down below." Zim led him to the lower levels of his base, and showed him where she lay. He dropped down to where she was, and held her.  
  
"Speak to me, Sal, speak to me." He put his hand to her heart, and felt it beating. "She's alive. Zim, you have to save her! She's alive!"  
  
"Stop trying to fool me! I know what you are! I'm going to kill you!"  
  
"No you won't! Not if I kill you first, imposter!"  
  
"Imposter? I thought you were the imposter."  
  
"Oh. Well I'm not. So save Sal!"  
  
"Yes! Of course!" Zim hooked her up to life support machines, and after a few hours, they saw her eyes open.  
  
"W-what happened?"  
  
"You almost died!" they screamed out at once.  
  
"Thank goodness I didn't. I have to forewarn you two of an upcoming danger. Your lives are at stake."  
  
"When haven't they been?" Dib inquired.  
  
"I need to leave. Right away."  
  
"No! I can't lose you again! You were just...dead...and then..."  
  
"I must leave. Thank you both, so much, but you have destinies to fulfill. You must live your lives out, and not dwell on the future that will not be if you do not continue without disruption. But I can say goodbye." She kissed Zim, and Dib glared at his enemy in a bitter rage. Sal then hugged Dib, and he hugged back.  
  
"Remember - be careful. I don't want you getting into more danger. I love you, and don't forget it."  
  
"You're not alone in this universe, or even this world. You'll find someone. Just like Zim did. I love you, and don't forget that." Sal revealed a time stick from her jacket, pulled her backpack on, and disappeared back into the year 2207. 


	7. Battle on Altheria

Chapter Seven: Battle on Altheria  
  
Sixteen years later, around late December. Dib was now a famous paranormal investigator, married and an expecting father; Zim was the renowned conqueror of planet Sylinine, and named the first short Irken to ever conquer, putting the Tallest out of rule in trade for another Irken chosen to be more deserving. GIR was the proud owner of a soda can with a picture of the scary monkey on it, and Gaz had improved upon the latest Gameslave model.  
  
It was in Dib's office while he was doing some research, now twenty- eight years of age, when a visitor arrived. "Dib, your wife is here to see you," his secretary said over the intercom.  
  
"Send her in. I'd be glad to get a break and see her face." She walked in a moment later, and approached his desk.  
  
"Think you can come home early tonight?" He backed away from the computer in his chair with little wheels at the bottom and grinned.  
  
"I don't see why not."  
  
"I'm making a special dinner for you tonight. Your favorite."  
  
"Which favorite is it this time?"  
  
"I believe it is lasagna. That's what the package says, but you never really know until it's done."  
  
"I can understand that. I just have to finish up this report on crop circles, and then it's straight home."  
  
"Good. I'll see you soon. But I really don't see what's so important about some circles in a patch of crops that can divert you from me."  
  
"I just want to help solve some mysteries. After all, when I have a kid, I don't want to say I don't know about some of this stuff when he asks, right?"  
  
"I suppose. Well, I'll see you tonight."  
  
"Okay. Goodbye." They kissed, and just as she turned to leave, he called her back again. "I love you, Tak."  
  
"I love you, Dib." She left, and for a moment, he remembered a time when he was roughly twelve years old that she had told him to get over her and leave her alone. Perhaps it was that attempt on Zim's part to humiliate him that made her realize she didn't really want him to leave her alone.  
  
Zim, back on the planet Irk, received a transmission from the planet...Earth? "Earth? Why would anyone on Earth wish to contact me?" It was Tak. "Tak? What are you doing on Earth?"  
  
"I hate you Zim, but thanks to your childish prank on Dib, you made me fall in love with him. I thank you. I am now his wife, and we are expecting a child. You ruined my life, but thanks to chance, it is better now. And if it weren't for that, he would be dead right now. Season's greetings."  
  
"...Season's...greetings..."  
  
"Tak here, signing off." Her image went away as the screen blanked, and Zim laughed a bit. His own prank that he'd never intended as much had actually ended up saving his enemy's life in some unforeseeable manner.  
  
Back on Earth, Tak awaited the time Dib would return home. The door opened, and he greeted her with a hug. "How's my sweet wife doing today? All right, I hope."  
  
"Yes. I'm fine."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"I just...I don't know. I sent a transmission to Zim telling him that his prank on you is what made me think I loved you...but now I'm not so sure that things will work out."  
  
"Tak, what are you saying?"  
  
"I'm saying...I don't like how you're always working on these reports of yours about things that don't even affect us. What good is knowing about a crop circle?"  
  
"I want to know. I don't know what good it would be. But it might be. It's a part of me to try to figure some of these things out."  
  
"You don't spend enough time at home. What about when we have a child? Will you be at work all the time then? Leave me to take care of him alone?"  
  
"I won't be at work so much. I promise."  
  
"You're right. I was exaggerating. I'm sorry."  
  
"Don't be."  
  
"Wait, I'm being called." Tak put the image on screen, and immediately saluted. "Greetings, my Tall- er, I mean, Leader Shulinze. (Shuu-lènz)"  
  
"Who are you? Is Tak there?"  
  
"Huh? Oh, I forgot. My disguise." She transformed back into her Irken form. "What is it you wish to discuss with me?"  
  
"As you know, there is a war between the Irkens and the Meekrob that has been going on for a few years. Well, due to a shortage of soldiers, I regret to inform you that you have been drafted to go to war."  
  
"But-Sir, I am to have a child. He is due for any day now."  
  
"According the list, you are not even married."  
  
"I didn't marry on Irk. I married here, on Earth. He is right here."  
  
"Oh, okay. When the child is born, you are to report back here, where you will be assigned to a battle station."  
  
"But-"  
  
"Let me know when you'll be arriving. Bye." The screen went blank, and Tak turned back to her husband.  
  
"I'm so sorry about this. I know it poses a problem, and I really didn't intend for it to happen-"  
  
"Be careful out there." They embraced, and then began to talk of how their day went in a hope of lightening the mood. They had no such luck, and waited day after day in an apprehensive anticipation, for with the arrival of their son would come Tak's departure. After about three weeks, he was born, and she had to bid farewell to the two of them.  
  
The young boy's name was Tad, and he looked basically like any normal human baby, with very pale, almost greenish skin, though his ears looked a bit pointed at the top. Tak held him tight, and kissed him on the cheek. "I'm sure he'll look just like you when he grows up some more. And be sure to send me pictures of him, too. I may be gone for a couple years. We can be on communications together. A day won't go by that I don't think of you two."  
  
"Tak, be careful out there! Don't get yourself killed. We need you."  
  
"I'll be careful. I love you, Dib."  
  
"I love you, Tak." They kissed, and the image of the leader of Irk, Shulinze, appeared.  
  
"Are you ready to leave?"  
  
"Soon."  
  
"Look, while you're there kissing, your planet's in danger!"  
  
"I have a family! I have a husband and a son, I am a mother and a wife, and I deserve to say goodbye to the ones I love!"  
  
"All right, then."  
  
"Dib, I made up a photo album with pictures of me from the time I was a child up until now. I also wrote a note to both you and Tad, explaining my thoughts and feelings, and explaining what happened. And in the event of my death, I made out a will."  
  
"Don't say that! You're coming home alive. Don't ask me how I know, I just know it."  
  
"Thank you, so much. I don't know what I'd do without you." They embraced one final time, and Tak held her child once more before leaving. She was beamed to the planet Altheria, where she would fight her first battle against the Meekrob. Dib prayed her last moments of existence wouldn't be there.  
  
************************************************************************  
  
Five Years Later  
  
"Can you tell me another story about Mom?" Five-year-old Tad looked at his father hopefully, and convinced Dib to tell another story.  
  
"Okay. But then it's straight to bed. This one is also before you were born. You see, Zim had just - I've told you about Zim before, haven't I?"  
  
"Just about every day."  
  
"Well, Zim had just-"  
  
"Dad, why isn't Mom back yet? Where exactly did she go?"  
  
"I was afraid you'd ask that sometime. She went to another planet."  
  
"You mean she was an astronaut?"  
  
"No. She was - she is - I've told you about aliens, right?"  
  
"All the time. Zim's an alien, and you always tell me of how you stopped his plans."  
  
"Your mother - is an alien."  
  
"Come off it, Dad. Stop joking me."  
  
"I'm serious. She is an Irken, just like Zim - of course, far more likeable, beautiful, intelligent...everything about her is better."  
  
"You're kidding! I've seen pictures of her before, and she looked way different from Zim!"  
  
"That's because she has a good disguise. She looks human in those pictures. Oh, that's her right now." He turned the television screen on to view the transmission.  
  
"Hello, Dib, Tad. How are you?"  
  
"Mom, Dad's gone overboard with his research now. He's claiming that you're an alien from outer space!"  
  
"He can get a little hysterical, now can't he? Look at you. You're the perfect image of Dib when he was young. You two even have the same hair."  
  
"Mom, where are you transmitting from?"  
  
"Tak, I think we should tell him this time."  
  
"You're right. You see, Tad, he hasn't gone insane. I really am an Irken, like Zim."  
  
"Don't trick me like this! Please! It's not funny!"  
  
"Look at me. I'm going to change back into my Irken self and take my disguise off. Don't look away from the screen." He complied, and saw his mother return to normal. "I'm sorry we didn't tell you until now. We were afraid it might traumatize you or something. I love you, though. Don't forget that."  
  
"You're...you're...you're an...alien? That means I'm..."  
  
"Yes. You're part Irken."  
  
"Is that why you're not here? Was I born and you just left?"  
  
"I was drafted to go to war. I swear, when I get back, I will resign from my Irken citizenship so it doesn't happen again. I didn't want this to happen. It's my worst nightmare. I love you so much."  
  
"Are you going to...die?"  
  
"I hope not. I'll do everything in my power to stay alive, even if it means breaking each and every law in the galaxy. I want so much to return to you. I only got to see you the first few days after you were born. That was all. It's so wonderful to see you. When I get back, we can go get you an ice cream. We can go to the park, and I'll take you to the movies, and I'll read books with you, and tuck you in for the night. That will be the sweetest nectar of the flower of my life. To live with you two. I was married to Dib for a few years, and then you were born, and I had to leave. That has been the single most difficult thing for me to do in my life. To set you in Dib's care, to say goodbye to you, only a few days after you were born. I give you my advice, Tad - once you've found love, whether love for a person, love for doing something in life, anything - make sure that there isn't any way that you can be taken away from it. It looks like I should be coming home soon, though. We've pretty much won this battle, and that's all that I'm required to be here for. The last fight is tomorrow, and after that, I'll be coming home. It looks like you were right, Dib - I think I am coming home alive. Is there anything you'd like to ask or say, Tad?"  
  
"I love you Mom. Good luck."  
  
"That's the way to take it. Goodnight, sweetie. I love you too."  
  
"Goodnight." He went to bed, and Dib remained talking to her for a couple more hours. Finally, he too, turned in, but first stopped at his son's room.  
  
"I figured you'd be awake. I didn't expect you to fall asleep after that. She said she'd be back around seven o'clock at night. I'm going to have a surprise welcome back party for her. You can be there, and I'll be there, and we can shout out "Surprise!" when she gets home. Would you like that?"  
  
"Yeah. But why did you keep it secret so long?"  
  
"Well...that's a little hard to answer. We didn't want you to get worried about her dying, for one, and just because of how extraordinary this is. I bet you're the only kid on the block who's part alien. But don't let it get you down or anything like that. It's kind of cool. Something you can hold onto. A part of you. I mean, Tak and I fell in love, despite that basically she wanted to conquer Earth. Zim wanted to conquer Earth, and that would normally put your mother and I as enemies. And even after I helped foil her plan of destroying Earth, we fell in love. Of course, I liked her from the beginning when I didn't even know, but to her at that time, I was just another of the humans. Oh, those were good times. It's moments like those that make me enjoy reminiscing on my youth. We'll be seeing her again for the first time in...five years. Five long, long years. I'll understand if you don't fall asleep. It's going to be a pretty big day for me, too. Just do your best. I'll be fine with it either way. Goodnight, Tad."  
  
"Goodnight, Dad." He left once more, and fell sound asleep rather quickly. He dreamt of his reunion with Tak, everything perfectly arranged. Truly it was the best sleep he had had in years.  
  
  
  
Note: I sure know how to put a twist in the story, don't I? Dib and Tak together...what was I thinking when I wrote this at one in the morning? Lol! 


	8. Reunion

Chapter Eight: Reunion  
  
It was nearing ten o'clock, and Dib paced the floor nervously. "Tak should have been here three hours ago! What could be keeping her? I hope she's all right, I hope she's all right..."  
  
"She's probably talking to an old friend, or something."  
  
"A friend! You're probably right, I'm making a big deal out of nothing...oh, please be okay, please be okay, please be okay..." Three more hours passed, and Dib was getting frantic. "Tak, please get here! Tak, you can't die! No! You can't be! You have to be all right! I love you! Don't leave! I love you..."  
  
"Wait, someone's at the door!" He ran like lightening to the door, and discovered Zim.  
  
"Zim?! What are you doing here?!"  
  
"I came to deliver some news."  
  
"Tak! Is she okay?!"  
  
"Tak has...Tak is...Tak was...killed...by an...I-Irken, by m-mistake."  
  
"Do you have her?"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"I want to see my Tak."  
  
"I don't think you want to."  
  
"Did I ask your opinion?! I want to see Tak!" Zim showed him the lifeless form of Tak, with a look of utter sorrow on her face. Dib took her into his arms and cried. He began to recite a poem to her:  
  
"I want so much to bid farewell with a tender kiss,  
  
But I dare not soil your pure untainted lips,  
  
So beautifully your eyes always shimmer,  
  
For me the sky never grows dimmer,  
  
Undaunted when in peril,  
  
You make me feel like singing a carol,  
  
So swiftly your gaze,  
  
Meets up with mine,  
  
As if in a haze,  
  
If this isn't love,  
  
Tell me what is,  
  
This feeling more precious than a dove,  
  
Seeing you leave makes me want to cry,  
  
Because I know I'll surely die,  
  
If I am to be kept apart,  
  
It will surely break my heart." He brought her face close to his once more, and kissed her farewell. "Bury her in the most honorable place, and tell me tomorrow where. I want to visit her."  
  
Zim carried her outside, and disappeared into the deep cold of night. Dib turned to his son, and hugged him. "I thought I was going to see her alive, Dad."  
  
"You know, Tad, I see your mother in you. Such a strong resemblance. She got to see you for the first couple of days. She held you, she talked to you, she sang to you - oh, if you could only remember her voice. It was like that of an angel's. It was true love she possessed for you. Her last nights here she cried when thinking of leaving you behind. And she doesn't cry that often. I have a strong feeling that she was thinking of you when she died. The last time she ever saw you in person was when you were a newborn baby. And during the transmissions, she always wanted to tell you what happened, but we were concerned that you'd be afraid. But it's good that she got to tell you. That you didn't have to wait until now to find out. She left a long letter to us explaining everything she felt about the whole situation. She left recordings, and videos, and - a will. I don't even want to look at it. I don't want to know what she left me."  
  
"Can I see? Can I see one of the videos she left of herself?"  
  
"Sure. I think it would comfort me to see her alive and well too." He left the room, and came back shortly afterward with a videocassette labeled, "Transmissions - Tape #1." It played, and it showed Tak on the screen.  
  
"I love you so much, Dib, Tad. I'm thinking of you every day. It's hard, but with you two in my mind, I think I can do it. I have to leave now, but it's great to see your faces. I look forward to seeing you again in person. I love you. Goodbye." They continued to watch the transmissions recorded on the tape until they fell asleep. When the sun rose, they awoke, but did not bother to eat, or drink anything. Dib picked up a book about Irk, and began to read it. It was written in Irken, but Tak had taught him how to read it, and it had become a second language for him. After about an hour, Tad asked him to teach him how to read Irken script, and after a few weeks, he could read it just as well as anyone born Irken.  
  
"You have it in your blood. That's what Tak always told me. I love you, so much. You're all I have left of her. A living person, just as alive as I am. My only son, because I could never love anyone as much as I loved her." With that statement, he remembered the girl who had come into his time, and allowed him the luxury of life, and that even if he couldn't live to see it, there was a future worth surviving anything life would dish out, even if it meant the loss of loved ones.  
  
  
  
Note: I'm sorry about killing Tak off; she's my favorite character, or at least second favorite. In my stories, I'm bound to kill someone off, especially if they're one of my favorite characters. Yes, I don't blame you if you all hate this weird and stupid story. 


End file.
